There's no reason not to talk about it if that will make you feel better. The advice not to confront is that W will run away. In this case she's already told you she's going to file and is about as far away as she can go, so there may not be as big a cost to get rid of the elephant in the room as in some situations.

How you do it is key though. I started with the "we're all human" speech and tried to normalize things. Everyone likes attention from the opposite sex, falling in love is addictive etc. This can normalize the situation. Then I just said that for my own peace of mind I wanted the truth, and wanted to treat it like ripping off a bandaid -- just get it out and put it in the past.

That speech worked, although it definitely was not tearing off a bandaid, it was ripping a hole in my soul.

Therefore, be very sure you want the truth before you request it.

Accuray

Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced
M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11
Start Reconcile: 8/15/11
Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced)
In a New Relationship: 3/2015