alcoholic H decided he wants D

[imthemom]

HI VC..
your right, cowardly is exactly what that was...and really its the way he has always handled his buisness. Its funny how you forget the bad and just focus on the "good times" when you are hurting. Its confuseing to me because for the 2 yrs we have been seperated I watched him go from this man who cared about nothing but were he could drink and not get nagged at to this amazing involved father.
for 2 years he never missed a single school function or meeting with teachers; was attending every after school function (which ment leaving work early, something he never did in the past)and Drs appt we had with son when we started him on medication for ADD. He was spending time with us every weekend and spare minute he could find.
just when I was beginning to trust that this could be a real step in the right direction he suddenly went right back to working every weekend and not attending even the basic conference with his teachers. and not seeing his S for weeks on end. Then after a few months the D bomb...obviousley he had decided on D and it suddenly didnt seem as important to put the effort in if he didnt want to be with us. I can see that my son feels abandoned and angry. I just happen to be the one here to take it out on.
How did you ever forgive your H for the way he treated you both during that time? I wonder if he was to walk through that door tomorrow if I would be able to do that.
When he talks about why he wants a divorce its all about how hard I was to live with and how he cant go back to that ...no mention of the fact that he is an alcoholic and living with him for 17 years was not easy, no remorse or mention of hes sorry for what he put us through for all those years or how it could have contributed to the end of our marriage at all. He is very holier then thou right now because he has been sober and is acting as if he did nothing wrong..no accountabilit what so ever.
But i guess that is not my problem, i have admitted my faults in our marriage and am working on bettering myself and my relationships with my sons and that is all i can do.
its great that you and yours are piecing now...its a positive in all of this right? and your S must be so happy to see that. good luck with it and I hope it works out for you!!