I so relate to your exhaustion. AJM's post was wonderful.
Well I am past the exhaustion, my children are all grown and I am enjoying them so much. I do not mean they they never give me any cause for concern. That would be scary, and mean they weren't telling me anything!!
It is all a challenge that we are intended to take and deal with. I had cancer 18 months ago, and dealt with radical surgery in my stride. My surgeon loves me!! But honestly it wasn't a big deal. If you can deal with MLC, raising your almost adult children on your own, heal yourself, and be a supportive friend - oh yes, and do a job, keep the house running and so on, you can deal with anything the universe throws at you.
The pain shows us we are alive. Pain is normal. We have a reasonable expectation that our life partner would put us and our children first, and they don't. Shame on them, but then they go and blame us for their short comings. OK they are doing the best they can, but from our perspective it isn't very good right now, and less than we want and need!. But we cannot take on their problems. That is why detachment is so important. We haven't got the energy to focus on them and deal with ourselves. and the more we do so, the less energy we have to deal with our own situation - BTW I was in the slow learner class on this one, so learned the lesson well!.
You will get there IB. You are a survivor and a thriver. Hang in there another year and the situation will have improved, and each year will get better, and you will become stronger, or I should say, more able to draw on your existing strength.
