Navy Don't worry about the conflict. Your wife has some serious growing up to do. If I remember right she has been like this for 10 months right?! When will she stop punishing you? Is this a dynamic you want for life?
I understand that to some posters just having your W is enough, but IMHO despite not having physically walked away she has mentally walked away, and she hasn't come back.
So just like you go dark when your WAW physically runs away you will need to do a mental going dark. She was nice to you the next morning probably because she felt bad for needlessly harassing you, but until she decides to mentally come back, it's only a matter of time until she becomes moody again.
A little conflict is ok now. She is pushing you around because she knows she can. She is acting like a brat because she refuses to forgive you, yet refuses to take the responsibility for a divorce. Don't be mean, but if SHE starts it, call her out. Also don't be afraid to tell her the following.
"if you are so miserable, and can't forgive me, well it might be better if you go."
Or
"if it's so bad that you must go, I'll understand"
Notice how she always says she can't forgive you because you keep pushing it? This is pure avoidance. She can choose to forgive but she is "stuck" on being right, and you being wrong. As we both know this mentality is very detrimental to a marriage.
This may sound harsh but she needs to be brought to the point where she realizes that forgiveness is better than losing the things she cherishes. This could mean you.
This is where you need to stand up and say
"you can be mad at me for the rest of your life, but I won't be around to take your wrath."
You've done your part Navy and she knows it, now she needs to decide if her foolish pride is worth throwing it all away.
You don't have to drop a bomb at her, if anything she'll bail to spite you. Instead slowly turn up the heat, she'll notice. You started by demanding respect, now follow through.
