Flat out though. There is no reason to be talking with your WW. I know you want to sometimes, but as you can see it leads nowhere. Doesn’t matter if you reconcile down the road or never, talking with her now is absolutely pointless.
She knows where you stand.
Right now you are only fueling her demonization of you.
Her asking to talk with you during mediation……you should have declined. This is her problem, not yours, you’re not the one who wants a D, and you’re not the one who filed.
Moot point though…….
If you want the best shot at reconciling down the road, remove yourself from your WW reach for some time, she is grasping at this image of you that doesn't exist so don't fall prey to this.
Honor her request to go thru her assistant?
You mean kind of like how she honored you by committing adultery.
Use your attorney. You are not your WW puppet.
If she doesn’t like it……so what……she doesn’t like half her assets being up for grabs…..then don’t get married, have an affair and then file for divorce.
Seems pretty simple to me……
Let all these flings with the other men die out…….and they will.
And you will have a chance if you so choose to be let back in.
If they contact you, her assistant or your WW……..plain and simple……..you talk marriage…..not divorce……..your L talks divorce……they can be reached at blah blah blah.
Listen, the money, the divorce…….none of that is going to matter a year from now…….it’s not going to lessen your shot at reconciling. Her anger, her resentment will pass as long as you quit fueling it.
The whole reason she wanted to meet with you……is b/c she was cracking…….she came in there with guns drawn……her target……you……to make herself feel better about what she was doing.
If you feel the need to write a LRT letter post D or even now if you haven’t, showing her the door will be open later down the road…..then do it, but keep it very short.
Stay strong okay.
I don’t want to give you false hope……..but your WW……… she is all ready showing signs of cracking…her telling you over and over that she is okay and going to be okay and be successful at her sport……tells me the exact opposite….….but you have to buckle down and let this play out for her……and that might mean she has to hit rock bottom……to bounce her back into the right direction.
Don’t’ save her from falling…you allowing her to demonize you is preventing this……..…let her fall………you can be there later when she needs help being picked back up….
Me:29 WW:26 No kids 2 dogs T: 11 M: 2 D-day 1: 08/2010 D-day 2: 05/2011 1 POSOM Separated: 06/2011 WW ILY commits to M 9/18 Files D 9/19 ILY Still 9/21 WW are fun
