MTS, I just got caught up. I am so very sorry to hear about this, man. Very tough stuff.
One thing I saw from the mediation is how much it chapped your W when you were messing with her agenda. It looked like if you disagreed with something on her agenda, she didn't like it. It's just such an ugly process.
Right now from what I hear about your W, I am PO'ed for you right now. Here's a couple thoughts, though. You are only seeing what she's showing you. It's likely you aren't seeing the entire picture. She is also lost in the fog right now. She may or may not come out of the fog. She will eventually reap what she sows. She is walking the path of destruction and misery right now. She is lost, chasing an illusion. You are going in the opposite direction. Ultimately you will be better off. Your W may look back some day and be mortified about what she's doing right now.
You still need to feel those emotions, though. You need to drain off the anger. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to forgive your W. It will take some time. You'll need to do it eventually - for you.
You will be able to move on (although it may still not be over entirely). Work on getting yourself back on track. You are doing a lot of good things. You are turning to the right places. I can almost guarantee other women are noticing how you are handling you situation.
Here's a couple thoughts, though. You are only seeing what she's showing you. It's likely you aren't seeing the entire picture. She is also lost in the fog right now. She may or may not come out of the fog. She will eventually reap what she sows. She is walking the path of destruction and misery right now. She is lost, chasing an illusion. You are going in the opposite direction. Ultimately you will be better off. Your W may look back some day and be mortified about what she's doing right now.