Trying to make it to the bye week

[MadeToSucceed]

My W walked in with a box of tissues and had been crying. She sat across from me at the table and ironically, my Bible was in between us. I'm rehashing the convo to the best of my ability.

W: H, I just wanted you to know that it was never my intention to leave you with nothing. I made you an offer months ago and you said no to it. You know what I have to do on a daily basis and you know I still have to do it. I just want you to know that I'm going to be ok. I know you're going to be ok, especially once you get the money you're after. But I'm going to be ok.

Me: W, your L indicated to me that your stance was that I shouldn't get anything from our M.

W: I never said that. Your L indicated you want money.

Me: W, all I want and have wanted is you. I've fought as hard as I can for our marriage but ultimately it takes 2 people. I tried to have the talk we're having with you last week but you didn't have the decency to be honest with me and let me know the reason you didn't meet with me is because you were flying back from OM's city.

W: You think you know so much. I don't owe you anything. I don't have to explain anything.

Me: Then what are we talking about W? (pointing to my wedding ring) This is what I've been trying to fight for. You've made a decision that you want to move on and someone else can provide something you're seeking.

W: And so since you can't have me you want my money.

Me: It's not about that W and I really wish I could get you to understand that. But at the same time, we aren't bf and gf. I made sacrifices for our M because I was planning a life together. You can't just make the decisions you've made and then approach it from a "deal with it" kind of attitude. Life doesn't work that way. And W. (put my hand on my Bible) I promise you I never EVER slept with any of those women you accused me of in this legal proceeding at the last minute. That is what hurts me most. That you would take this there when its not true. (at this point my W puts her head down and wouldn't look at me while I was talking) So yes. I am going to let the legal process run it's course because it is a process that I never wanted and a process that you initiated that I've had to participate in.

W: (becomes agitated and stands up) You control your L. You can make what you want to happen here happen. I'm going to be ok. I'm still going to succeed in my sport at the highest level.

Me: And I'll be somewhere watching and truly happy for you.

And with that, she left the room. Looking back on it, I know she's conflicted but in those moments I think she was trying to manipulate me into expressing my love for her and walking away empty handed. As much as this truly is NOT about the money for me I'd be a fool if I didn't make sure that I am protected in this situation. Were the shoe on the other foot, it wouldn't even be debatable. I'd be vilified and she'd be deserving of well more than half. In actuality, I wasn't even seeking that. I just wanted a fair share of what I was contributing to so that I can make sure some of the debts I've incurred as a result of all of this are taken care of.