Friday i text H in the morning to let him know i had paid his bills as i didnt want him to get into trouble and will be sending is online card to him registered post.
H then kept phoninh, i was at work so didnt answer, he text me saying 'answer your phone' i text him 'can't' H replies he wants to know whats going on, so unfortunately i let him know exactly what i thought of him (in hindsight i should not have gone there feeling so emotionally, this was the reason why i had not responded to him already)
I ended up sending him 10 messages at one go, H replies that if i want to sort this out i will be in the flat tonight if not its over. Again i do not understand how he does not see this as controlling and manipulating behaviour, needless to say i didnt go i couldnt go anyway and felt this was an unreasonable request.
We ended up speaking on the phone and that just made matters worse but what got me was all of the name calling and put downs he was throwing at me, i never was did any of that but noticed if i made a point he couldnt argue quick enough he would put me down, the one that stuck was that i do nothing, i come to HIS flat and do nothing just take up useless space, anything i do claim that i did a trained monkey could do it and the trained monkey would do it better.
I didnt argue back i couldnt as i began to feel worthless again. I text H saying 'Ur right were going nowhere right now we're both too angry and hurt to do this right now. I need some time and space to sort myself out. Lets agree that d3 will call u at least every other day and we will check in with each other at least once a week for now'
H text back 'You think thats going to sort you out'
I text back 'i'm willing to try it'
H then calls me and says that he's not waiting around for me i say to him i'm not expecting him too i understand the message was vague so how about he gives me a week, H then says that i am not worth waitng a week for and that i'm nothing and if i want a week then he'll be off doing his thing with someone else, i told him he was being unreasonable especially after all the hurt he had put me through i was only asking for a week.
H then went into what i call a rage, more put downs and self pitying saying how he is the bad guy its always him i'm perfect, i told him how i have never said that i was perfect and have done thigs too but i still need a week.
The conversation ended with H stating to me that i'm a crazy psycho have i heard myself i seriously need to get some help as i've lost my mind etc...etc... but the part that hurt me the most is when he said that he seriuosly thought that i had killed our d3 and buried her in the garden!!
wtf!! dumbfounded is not the word, my heart completely broke then and any hope that i had left had evapourated as i could not believe he could think such a thing about me, i told him as he trully believes that all though it had been a week and he still went to work he couldnt have been that bothered about me killing her AND burying her, that he should hang up right now and call the police and his family to get her body and hung up.
H then kept phoning and phoning, he then sent a text saying, 'if u dont answer the phone i'm not going to try anymore, All the best'
H phoned again i've still not responded in utter shock now, then an hour later H text that he knows he's messed up he knows i was always there for him, that he knows d3 is okay etc etc
I havent spoken to him since, H did text that he will sort out the divorce in Nov and collect whats left in the house (meaning i will have absolutely nothing as me and d3 are already sleeping on half a sofa) He has also put us a seperated on FB and left the following statement on my FB page
'breaking up is like a broken mirror, its better to leave it broken then hurt yourself trying to fix it. It hurts that i meant everything to you like u said i mean nothing to you. It hard to tell your head to stop loving someone when ur heart still loves them it likes telling trying to remeber someone you never knew. In time i will get over you'
I'm not even going there!!!
plan to continue to tidy the mess that was left when moving and will let d3 phone him tonight as i know he has a comp this weekend so could do with her support.
