GALing and Boundaries with XH

[AntoniaB]

Funny you mentioned that a wedding band doesn't always put men off...

I met a guy at a friend's house who had met his girlfriend on eharmony and they'd been together for a couple of months. No one seemed to think he was with the right woman for him, but he said he was happy and really talked up how great eharmony was to me.

At some point, he looked at my hands. I usually wear 4 rings. I had a ring on my left hand that was just my birthstone. He told me that that screamed "taken." I was like, it's my birthstone! He said it didn't matter. He then told me I should not wear any rings at all. He said "guys are dumb and unobservant. They just see any ring and assume you're married, because women wear their wedding bands and engagement rings on different fingers anymore."

I showed him the ring I bought myself with my royalty check. It's the only ring I ever bought--the rest were gifts from XH. This ring has 10 tiny colored sapphires arranged in a sort of rainbow of color, on a gold band. He said "nope. Don't wear it. Looks like a wedding band to me, even on your right hand."

I just feel like this is all so ridiculous, you know?

I'm not opposed to a long-distance rel. at all. I think it would give me the space I want. It's the people I've met who are opposed. One guy I met said "a long-distance rel. can only work if you set a time limit on it" and then he stopped commmunicating with me. Honestly, I feel like I'm dealing with a bunch of sappy dudes with this online dating venture. They give off such a needy vibe it's unbelievable. And I think I just got my answer as far as why they're not beating down my door...my profile is the opposite of needy ;-)