Looking for the silver lining...

[irishblessings]

Antonia - I can see what you are saying. I'm probably not to the point where I can actually "thank" X for the break. I agree the test could come later - but the chance of us throwing ourselves at the Xs would be very slim - at least for me - at least I think. I honestly can't believe how long it has taken me to be ok with this anger I feel. I mean seriously - it's going on 18 months since he left - 24 months since the bomb - and 7 months since the divorce was final.

Today S told me that he wanted me to take him to his BB showcase next weekend. His Dad thinks he is going to go with him but S says he is not ready for a long trip with him. I told him that he owes his dad a phone call to let him know his feelings. I know XH is going to call me or email me and tell me I need to "force" son to go with him. I really don't feel like I can do that - I don't feel as if it is my place. It is not that I don't want them to have a decent relationship - it's just that S is almost 18 and XH set up the language that their time together is to be agreed upon between the two of them. I'm just not going to get in the middle of it.

I hope I'm doing the right thing - it feels like it is.