The thing that worked best for me when my mind was racing was something physical. The endorphins helped me feel better in general and I was always better able to stop the spinning.
I know that work and kids can be all consuming. What do you do when he sees the kids? Does he have them for enough time that you could get out? There are sites like meetup that are people getting together with the same interests. There are a ton of groups within a resonable driving distance of me. Dancing, walking, photography, dinner and a movie etc.
You may have to force yourslef at first and that's ok. After awhile you will settle into what you really like best.
