H would do things for no special reason. One time he made a homebaked loaf of bread, but hollowed it out and filled it full of Hersheys kisses and brought it to me.
Today I got an apology from H! He was going to help me with something and forgot and I had to do it on my own, and tonight he apologized. Those don't come often!
H and I joined forces to help a friend, and it brought a wave of nostalgia as I loaded a horse for each of us to do the job. Felt good!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Slowly but surely he's returning to you. You are doing great! It's difficult when you see them starting to "thaw", but you've got to continue to be yourself and do things that work for you.
I'm glad to see that he joined forces with you to help a friend out. Every step is a good one for the both of you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
snodderly, thanks for kind words. Even when they thaw it remains difficult to wade thru the tornado effects of MLC. I always thought it would have been easier to cut and run than to stick it out, but my heart won over my mind. I stayed, and then H stayed, and here we are…
The good news We finally filed taxes The bad news We did not get a refund as expected The good news H’s business revenue is climbing over previous years. He seemed excited to share that news, and said he has been working hard. I agreed and gave him encouragement. But I also expressed my dissatisfaction that I have to figure out how to keep financially paying for his past.
For the first time in 7 years H did not go on his fall escape for 2 weeks. It’s great for him to go but I said I would not be able to pay his bills after he got back and he would have had no income for 2 weeks. He stayed home to make money.
H almost has an energy that comes from him again, it’s like he is lighter in boots, his voice has emotion again. I think he is better than I am, I still am working on picking up my shoulders from the weight of H’s MLC.
I need some fun. Lately it feels like even the fun stuff is still work!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Sounds like your h is making great progress. Take some time to enjoy the weather and do something special for you...even if it's a walk in the woods....just do it...be kind to yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
We went on a date! Well I think it was a date, becuase H asked me to go along, he drove, and he bought coffee, we sat next to each other, had nice conversation, he opened the doors for me....I think that is a date??
Life is so crazy, it seems more couples are splitting up than staying together. One friend divorced her H for the 2nd time, another couple with young kids is separated, couples have babies but never marry. Is that all just changing times?
A song from days gone by - What's Forever For? by Michael Martin Murphy. Good lyrics.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Yippee!! I am so happy to hear that. I think people forget that marriage is work. You have to plan things and make time for each other and create the moments that will stay with you both forever.
Now you guys just have to hold hands.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Marriage is work! It's the hardest job of your life!
A bit of a vent and relearning for me. We have plans to be out of town this weekend. As usual I made all the arrangements to have chores and critters all taken care of. H never asks about it, I never tell him. Today he screwed up my arrangements, and I ripped him up for it. He whines that he'll be late our plans today, doesn't know how he'll make it on time, how high his gaspump bills are, and now he's added miles and time that he doesn't have to give. Dumb.
It's also reminded me that I have to change the way I learned to survive while he was in lala land. I have to share and communicate better and stop the gaps we still have.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I think it is time to clue him in the arrangements, perhaps before they are finalized. I know I ended up doing a lot of that stuff on my own. My ex didn't want to be bothered or never made a decision. I was in this marriage alone in some ways.
I just know that there has to be a better way. Keeping each clued in is a step in the right direction. How did the weekend go by the way?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Hey kat, thanks for your thoughts. I'm pretty sure I was never a great communicator. What I thought I said didn't get interpreted the way I said things. I work on it, and it's better, a work in progress....
The weekend was good. We had our together times, and our times away from each other while interacting with other people. I used to cling to H during these types of things. Now he has to come and find me. lol
I was gone another weekend with friends to help them finish titles on their horses. Mission accomplished! One is currently standing #1 in the nation in one event! During that weekend H called and we talked quite a while about some things going on with some kids that 'work to ride' for us. We were 100% on the same page together how to handle things.
We seem headed in the right direction, but - for years I always felt there was something missing, some piece of all this puzzle that I just can't figure out. I accept, I forgive, I move forward, but something is missing.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
As we enter another season that can be filled with stress and tears, I hope we can all take the time to be thankful for the good things we have in our lives. Sometimes that means searching for the little things that make us smile. Find a smile and build on it.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
