Me:43 W:41 Married:19 S:15 S:13 D:11 ILYBNLWY: April, 2011 Discovered/confronted about Affairs : Aug 20, 2011
Ok, so first post - so here goes. W gave me the speach, started partying (april )with younger single girls, started not coming home at night-saying she stayed at her girlfriends.She spent the summer away with the kids at our lake spot - I visit when on holidays. She partied, got wasted all the time, I found her with her top off one night drunk with an 18 year old guy. She leaves the lake when i came in aug. and says she did nothing at home. When I got home, I found gas receipt for a town we have no friends in. So I started looking at email.Facebook and found the notes to her BFF about the affairs - one at the lake, one at home. I drove out and confronted her, said they had to stop and we would start at square one and work on our marriage (oops). Read "surviving your wifes mid-life Crisis" stopped doing the things wrong (i love you, hugs, etc). End of Sept, I found she was texting OM still. Told her i obviously couldnt make her stop, so she needed figure out what she needed to be happy. Gave her $5k to move out if she want as she said she was financially trapped. She still is in the house, still partying and not coming home at night. This weekend when she got home I found a sex toy for a guy/lube in her overnight bag. We have chatted off and on about her moving out or not, she says shes not sure, but obviously is still sleeping around. She has OM and another guy from her last vacation trip to see her BFF (end of Sept)on Skype. So, I'm reading DR and cant believe I can just ignore what she's doing -its driving me nuts! I have steadfastly told her I forgive (thinking she quit sleeping around), love her unconditionally, and would prefer she stayed home and I would give her space to figure out what she needs to be happy. I'm afraid I'm being a doormat, weak, abused, etc. For the record - I did go on a lunch date last week and have been going out on weekends with buddies - but I always go home to take care of our kids. Arrrgh! Any thoughts from the Veterans?
