Things are going along pretty well. I'm all moved into the apt as is sister. H has only given me a little hell over it all.
I still need a lot of work. A coworker of mine had a baby shower on Thursday. I had to really grin and bear it and still teared up a few moments before I walked in. It was hard to smile through everyone making comments like, "brings memories back, huh?" (I was the last one to have a shower... they know nothing about this separation). I still see pregnant women and either become angry or very sad.
H is very much doing things like what Ken said. He's saying, "why should I say ILY if you're moving out? Why should we ML if you don't want to live with me".
My rational is if we were dating, I would not move in with him if he were not saying/doing those things. So why should I move back home if he's not saying/doing those things??
I'm not trying to discount the actions. I'm really not. I know they speak much higher volumes. And on the same note, I don't want him to say ILY, just because I asked for it. It ruins the validity of it.
He's going to Florida this week. This will be a test of my anxiety. Thus far, I'm not concerned. He'll be back on Friday. I think I plan on going to the house while he's gone and do some tidying up. He's really been trying to keep things nice while I've been gone, but it's hard given that we're really trying to focus on being good spouses and good parents. I think if I organize at least my stuff and D's stuff in a way that shows that I plan on spending some good quality time there, then that will put his mind at ease. It still kind of looks like a tornado blew through in the aftermath of me moving out.
I plan to take him out to eat when he comes home on Friday for our anniversary (which is tomorrow). He wanted to take me out this past Friday, but we simply could not get it coordinated for someone to watch D. I'm sure I can this week though.
I plan on setting up something with another counselor in the same practice as our MC for me to get some IC. Now that I'm not so transient and we are definitely piecing, I think I can get some good work done on me and forgivenss and all that good stuff.
Oh, and 25, on your suggestions on kiddo #2: Oh yeah, we will be waiting a while. Not a super long while, but I've always said I wanted D to hit certain developmental milestones before we start trying for #2 (even before D was born I said this). And I think it's reasonable to have expectations for our R before we have #2. Just like I want there to be certain milestones met in our R before I permanently move back home.
I figure those milestones are things we can talk about in MC and in my IC. Because I'm not entirely sure what those are yet.
