Are you fighting to stay married or are your fighting to not get divorced?
If you know drinking will lead to a bad convo. Don't drink. Don't put yourself in a position to have those bad moments. You know when to shup up...you just don't.
This is why I think separating would have been beneficial in your case (I know it's against the popular advice here)
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
