ok, so i need some serious input, I am a 40 yr old women that has found herself in a place I never thought I would be, I wasnt silly enough to think marriage was easy and I can look back and see the would of, could of and should ofs.. but for right now this is how it is.
I need to find things to do with myself, positive things. problem is I have no idea what to do, I feel as though I have no friends, no interests and outside of my work and children I really do nothing.
My brain wont shut off, it is constant panic of what my H is doing, this is not healthy for me or my children. I need to find a life! but where do you start?
The thing that saved my life was exercise and meditation. I had an old 12 speed bike I started to ride everyday on a nearby trail, at the end of the trail some days I was okay, on others tears would stream down my face as I watched happy couples walking by , but I kept at it and day by day things got better. I meditated on ridding my heart of pain, bitterness and resentment, asked for guidance from within and without. The Impressions through this guidance was the pain would only go if I began to "work on myself" and be the "best you can be for your children and everyone you meet, whatever positives you put in will be returned" I know it sounds like I'm delusional, but when I used to trust my gut instincts and listen to them before I never found myself in the position I'm in now...
