What do I do next?

[luvhurts49]

I'm still trying to understand on how to listen to her without talking--it isn't something that comes naturally, but I know it is something that I have to do better with. The problem of course is getting my W to actually talk to me. She no longer asks me about my day or talks to me about the kids. In fact, I only see her for a minute or two when she drops off the kids and that really isn't enough time to talk about anything other than our hellos and goodbyes.

Unfortunately, I see the D as a deadline--I mean, I won't give up even after D, but I know it makes it that much more difficult. I think I understand that she has to have this for her, but at the same time, it just drains everything from me knowing that it has actually come down to us getting a D instead of allowing time to really figure things out, but maybe that is self-serving, I don't know.

One other bit of info that I found out over the weekend, my W has on occasion talked/texted with my best friend of 26 years--this is usually just her venting to my friend. Normally this wouldn't be a problem as he is her friend too, but lately I have found out that he hasn't been as upfront with when she has talked to him. First off, my best friend doesn't have any interest in my W and my W doesn't have any interest in my best friend, so I will squash any thoughts (from other people) of them being together right now. My concern comes from him not telling me right away that she has talked to him--I usually find out the next day or so. Now this usually wouldn't be a problem, but considering the situation that me and my W are in, any info that I could get could prevent me from doing something stupid or saying something to her that would make things worse. I would also like to present this problem to my friend, but I also don't want to strain our friendship any more than I already have.