GALing and Boundaries with XH

[AntoniaB]

Oh and duh...what am I doing... :-)

I have just over 50,000 words written for my book, and I need to hit around 85k or 90k by Dec. 31. Then I need to revise/edit; it's due March 1st. I'm not sure if I'll make it in time. I do very little but research and write at this point. I do go out once in awhile. This week I have to take a cat in for surgery, go to meditation group, and I have dinner scheduled with one friend and drinks with another. Other than that, it's all research, all writing, all week. On weekends I watch movies and do my hobbies, mainly.

I try to meet guys...and I do...but everyone is always married. I've met a ton of new people by going out and being social. But I have never been approached by anyone, hit on by anyone...it's kind of freaking me out at this point. I don't know that I'm ready for a relationship, but it kind of bothers me to feel so invisible. I live in an area where I am very obviously on the "better" end of the spectrum in terms of looks, but still, nothing. I am also on eharmony, and no one pays attention to me there either. I even send out the initial queries and I get ignored.

I've had friends read my profile and they all say the same thing: "guys want stupid women. It's obvious that you're smart and independent and accomplished. They are threatened by you."

I even put on my profile "please don't be intimidated by my job...I'm basically a high school teacher for older students." Why? Because every guy I have met has told me the same thing: "when you told me you were a professor I almost didn't talk to you because that intimidated me."

I do think that this is a problem of the area I live in (DE). EVERY PLACE I GO people act like I'm the freaking pope when I tell them I'm a professor. It is NOT glamorous, and I probably make less money than they do.

I've been told by many I will have to LIE about my accomplishments/job/who I am if I want guys to approach me on eharmony....and so far I refuse to do that.

So I'm single...lonely sometimes...but there doesn't seem to be much I can do about it if I want to be true to myself.