Actually, itm, it does work, I think I am proof of it. My H was just as determined as any to end it. He said he had planned to one day pack his stuff, and just walk away, and say see ya. The ow was planning a big future for him. Thank God I found out in time, and found this site in time. He was also drinking enough to pass out many nights. I did not even know that, though. He said he would go downstairs and drink almost a whole bottle of vodka. I would send our son down to see what daddy was doing and he would say he was asleep, so I never knew about it, until he told me later on. And he said ow was helping him to stop drinking. blah blah blah.
It can get very discouraging to read all the misery going on here, but every so often a situation seems to have the doors open, and things begin to slowly improve for them. Those of us who have been lucky enough to find this site have a place to get the tools to learn how to save our M's from D. No, it won't work for all of us, but there are so many success stories that give us hope to keep going, to say we have done the best we can do in our own situation. And it can take a long time, but just GAL can make the time go by faster
And if it doesn't work out, you will not have spent the time in vain. Working on ourselves is something we should have done anyway.
Yesterday was our 28th anniversary. H told me over and over he wants us to have at least 28 more. This time five years ago, he was going to leave me, four years ago, he was going to leave me, three years ago, he was reconsidering it, due to the changes I had made in the way I acted and treated him, and just generally made myself a better vc. Now, he sings a totally different tune. I don't know how long before I truly trust him 100% on this or anything else, but for now, I think he is sincere.
I read that you were having a bad night last night, did something happen to make you feel so bad? About the support system, I told no one at all, except a counselor I went to, and our former preacher and his W. Not a single family member was ever told. No friends were told. I came here every day for advice and help. I learned a lot from the people here. This site WAS my support system.
