I have a theory that she just wasn't attracted to me anymore. It had nothing to do with my physical build or looks; she told me once, "You're so hot and you don't even know it." I think that it had a lot more to do with my perceived "lack of manliness." I complained a lot, cried, hid things from her, and did everything I could to please her. She loved me, but she found it hard to respect or look up to me. I think that this really killed her physical attraction to me.
You nailed it. I would bet that the most common reason that W's become WAW's is "lack of manliness" in their spouses. When we first meet and date our future W's we are our own men; we have hobbies, interests, opinions...we have been on our own and know how to take care of ourselves. Pretty attractive to women. But as the married years go by, we start to lose ourselves little by little, and eventually become puppy dogs following our W's around for affection and table scraps. We are no longer strong men but weak little boys.
Our W's put up with this as long as they can, but when someone comes along who represents something different, it's a great temptation. Some W's can resist...and some can't.
Since my situation started I also have read voraciously and looked back at my own actions and attitudes during my marriage, and have found them pathetically lacking. It may be too late to save our marriages, but it is not too late to course-correct our lives for ourselves and perhaps for the next person we choose to share with.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
