new to this..

[2thepoint]

I decided to "test" the waters and sent him a text that said I hope you have a good day.. he responded with he hoped i did as well, then when I got done at work, I was overwelmed with the missing him so I text him with a simple "how was your day?" he responded pretty quickly with a run down of his day and asked how was mine? I responded the light heartedly and with much of the same as his..that was that, just simple exchange of words, nothing more. So my question to all of you? am I pushing? now if I dont text am I hurting our movement forward, we have had no R talks in several weeks, but most of our conversaions are good but nothing more than what you would say to someone you barely know.

If you follow the rules, then I would say that you perhaps you are indeed hurting your movement forward. What you describe are pursuit activities that you should be trying to avoid. I'll give you an example of what I have been doing along the same lines.

Normally when my W sends me a text, I respond almost immediately and then try to string along the conversation as long as possible. Now when she sends me a text such as the one she sent yesterday asking about the boys soccer games. I let several hours go by before responding and then only provided basic information. No further texting after that. It is extremely difficult! I would love nothing more than to have an actual conversation with her. But she is not ready for that and maybe never will be. But, I have to do this if I want this DB to work.

Some people who post here talk about conversations that have with their spouses and it makes me wonder just how detached they really are. If they want to create mystery and pique their partners interest, then time and distance is what is needed to make this happen. If we are in daily contact with our partners, how will we create the mystery? How will we get our spouses to see us in a different light. I think the old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder, applies here.