By stopping the thoughts, I mean stop obssessing. When I would find myself rading between the lines of everything that was said and done (or not said and not done)...that isn't processing. That's just making yourself nuts.
Dealing with the anger and the forgiveness is tough. What worked for me was to see H as human with his own limitations and to be compassionate. There were times I was more successful than others, but making a habit of viewing him this way has helped me alot.
I also have found activities that help me when I get angry. Could be as simple as taking a walk, exercising or writing a letter (that I never send).
Everytime you work thorough something, it really does confirm how strong and capable you are. Look at all the things you are handling and let that be a brick in the wall of your confidence. Notice I didn't say all the things you do right or well? Just doing it and making any adjustments necessary to get you where you want to be is how we all move forward. That it may not be right or perfect the first time, doesn't matter, at all.
If you read back through your own posts, you'll see the growth. May not be as big and grand as you'd hoped it would be, but we all do this in our own time.
