Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[keep_going]

Good week. No arguing with H. So my small, specific goal was accomplished. Friday was interesting - kids got lice at pre-school. So it was a loong day. And D3 also got a stomach flu bug that same day.

I was cranky most of the day thinking - on top of everything, I have to deal with all of this alone. No team with H...that hurts, specially thinking it will be like this all the time. It's not like I can't do it. Now I know that I can (which I didn't 10 months ago), but it's just plain sad.

When H came over that night after work, I was friendly and he helped a lot with the kids. It's nice when we work together. I do know that he cares about his kids a lot and he genuinely seems to want to be friends. So many times he treats me politely and friendly, unless he is crabby. But I cannot be friends with him...He is my husband and I love him. How could he expect that? He wants us to be friends and for me to be friendly with OW and for everyone to accept her.

After we finally had all kids asleep, he stayed for a bit. We talked about his problems at work and I validated and listened intently. I always look at him in the eyes, but he never does look at me in the eyes. I was trying to remember if that was the case when we were still together and cannot even remember. So sad...

He brought up a sitch with an employee that has anger issues. He then talked about me. How I have a public and private persona. How in public I would never get mad and that is why people didn't believe I had anger issues. And how diff. I was in private.

I listened and acknowledged. I said I saw it simpler. There were people I was angry at and others I wasn't. He didn't believe that, I think.

He also brought up how diff. we saw things all the time and how we misperceived things. I agreed - our communication was always bad and we both ended assuming things about each other.

I don't know if that conversation was good or not.
He said thank you when he left, but I just felt depressed about it.