alcoholic H decided he wants D

[imthemom]

Ive spent a lot of time on this sight reading post..it seems to me that there is a lot of effort being put into trying to save marriages with little positive outcome..
I read a lot of the same story, spouse wants a D..we should not beg or cry and we should back off and wait for them to come around while working on bettering ourselves..
maybe i missed it but I havent found any post from anyone saying "its working", Ive backed off and my spouse is now comeing around saying he loves me again!!!!
seems to me that DBing is just a way to get someone through the inevitable without a complete breakdown...if you focus on yourself you have no time to lay on the floor and cry yourself sick..which i get, you need to move on and not focus on the bad feelings..but why not just call is what it is...
I think if someone loves you, they love you, and if they dont, they leave...backing off and going dark arent going to change that and neither is crying or begging so I guess its a wash...
sometimes people think a marriage is a mistake and bail...and everyone else involved is just colateral damage..
if you have a support system you get through it and if you dont, well, you end up on that floor...
eventually, you look around and realize what a moron you look like and get up and go about your life...
as you can see..i have not gotten there yet.
alcohol is an evil thing...it can ruin a whole entire family and make you wonder if that family ever even existed.