Thanks so much for that. I'll have to listen to the CDs, but I can see from your notes where this would be so phenomenally helpful for me; last week I tried a tact where I just began focusing on what I want (really truly GALing) and also in interactions with exBF what I want - not what I don't want. Last night, however, I failed.
It's back to the bedtime ordeal - but I know I can't say much. I either have to take over or shut up. And right now, having my 16-hour days to madly recreate my life is where i need to be - it's been a month of this - and I imagine given another month, I'll be in pretty good shape (2, I'd say, but I'm working with what I've got). I knew the moment all this went down pretty much precisely how much time I'd need to return to flourishing - and I can see this time next year being in an entirely better place.
I am so glad that I'm lovingly giving myself the time to grieve and really dig deep and heal on a whole new level.
And I just realized this morning that I am pretty much reinventing every aspect of my life - I was cleaning out my closets - throwing away clothes that are SOOO pathetic (hand me downs that are way too small, have holes or stains - ) stuff that is just drab (gray and black). Yes, I'm still 30 lbs overweight, but I am walking every day and going to the gym and it's time those clothes get DITCHED! Of course, now, I'll have nothing to wear - but my sister lovingly agreed to work with me to rebuild my wardrobe (She always looks amazing) little by little - which I can't wait to do (but have to kind of do it slowly for money reasons).
I want to start dating again in a few months - and while i'm not emotionally ready, I want to at least move toward being physically ready - new clothes, new weight.
I mentioned working with a woman who is going to help me revamp my business, working with my web designer to help me revamp my Web presence, I reworked my resume, I am slowly getting more and more work in. I want to be booked for 2-3 months solid before I let up, though.
I am doing a coaching class on finding love, which is really about finding everything you need in yourself.
I am in the coaching program, which is amazing.
I am having new conversations with my mother (where she finally admitted to not being very nice to me for some time - i.e. telling my sister things about me that weren't nice and using my sister as her therapist around me and she acknowledge how that would be hurtful to my relationship with my sis.)
I am in IC with someone who is very familiar with the Pia Mellody boundary stuff, and also talking with me about learning about healthy relationshps/getting needs met, etc.
I just got a physical and am taking care of dental work and working with a friend on finances and a Dave Ramsey coach if needed.
I love it!
And I guess, most importantly, learning to let go with exBF. Just leettttttinng goooooo whenver I possibly can.
