What do I do next?

[luvhurts49]

Just to give an update on what has transpired the last few days. The W texted me the other day wanting to know if I wanted to have pizza with her and the kids at my place. Didn't know if I should or not, but did so anyway. She stayed for a couple hours and everything seemed to go okay—ate pizza, kids played around, talked about everyday stuff (work, kids, etc.). We didn't talk about our R or anything regarding out sitch. I tried to look happy and mostly cheerful around her (hard to do when your miserable). I let her speak without interrupting her and tried to maintain eye contact so she knew that I was paying attention.

I couldn't help but to notice that my W looks depressed and rarely did she smile and when she did, it almost looked fake. She did mentioned however, that she doesn't sleep very well and that she might get 4 hours (not always in a row) of sleep a night. I told her that I understood that, that I don't sleep well either. Now I didn't tell her that I have yet to sleep in our bed since she left and it would be a godsend if I could even get 4 hours of sleep a night.

When she went to leave, I walked her and the kids out and I gave my kids a hug, told them ILY, and put them in the car. I stood there for a moment waiting for her to get in the car. She just kinda stood there, with the door open, like she was waiting for me to give her a hug or something, but I didn't. I just told her to have a goodnight and to drive safe. It killed me not giving her a hug or telling her ILY.

I wish we could have more days like this. We got along well, had good conversation, and we got to spend some time with each other and the kids. I could clearly see that she is depressed and this whole situation is bothering her just as much as it bothers me. I would love to ask her to do that again, but I know that I have to sit back and let her drive the bus and make the moves for now.