What do I do next?

[luvhurts49]

I appreciate the advice Accuray. I'm trying to step back and let her have some space--the last thing I want to do is push her further away. I feel like the longer I can push off a D, the better chance we have.

Unfortunately, I don't have many friends so I don't get much of an opportunity to get out as much as I'd like. Usually getting out for me is just going over to a friends house and bullsh!ting for a few hours. Sadly, winter is coming so I can't exactly spend a whole lot of time doing outside projects to occupy my time.

During this time I am trying to work on me. I see some traits in myself that I don't like and I am beginning to see them in my oldest son as well. I am seeing a IC, so hopefully between myself and my IC, I can better understand on how to change these traits.

See, I don't like always being right (although I usually am--counter productive isn't it?), but I have been working it. When somebody starts to say something that I don't agree with, I just shut my hole and try to let it go. Btw, if anyone else is like me in this regard, shutting up and letting someone else be right is really hard to do.

Another problem I have is listening attentively--meaning I have been trying to listen better without cutting the other person off or plainly disregarding what it is they are saying and trying not to control a conversation by not letting the other person speak. I knew I had a problem with this, but until recently, I never really understood just how big of a problem it is.

I'm sure I have more problems than these, but these are the biggest ones and I just need to take it one step at a time I guess. After having your life revolve around the same woman for so many years, it is so hard to not be a part of her life every day and not being able to spend time with my kids every day kills me.

I appreciate the support guys and I hope to give updates often when time permits.