Advina, I think I've been so used to h pushing me away and holding me at a distance that I don't know how to act when he warms up to me. And it does seem we are going in a good direction.

Last night we went to dinner and a movie together. At dinner, he flirted a little with me. I was surprised. I think we both felt more relaxed with each other.

I'm trying to keep myself in check though. I try to watch my expectations. Such as, when he took off ahead of me through the parking lot... I hate when he does that, and I'm left walking alone behind him. I had to bite my tongue ... but he ended up stopping and waiting for me. Surprise lol. I find that things go smoother when I learn to not expect or judge.

As Alb says, he's still very broken and I can see this. It's true. There are still those moments I'm picking up on him... and still a bit of that wall there. That's OK I will take what he is willing to give.. but at the same time I have to keep moving forward for me.

I've been too co dependent on my husband all of these years. I need to learn how to be alive for me, and do more for me. I've been working at GAL and I think h sees this. He has only commented about how he is proud of me being in school.

I haven't worked in so many years. He also said, "It will be nice when you get a job and we have two incomes".

I think he wants to feel he has a partner, and that he's not my caretaker.

Another small 180 for me was, not letting him do so much for me anymore. Going and getting things, or helping me lift everything. He's so accustomed to doing things for me. But i'm taking up more chores and doing more lately. It's challenging with my MS but I need for him to see he is not my care taker, and that i'm his equal partner who can do things.

I'm working at trying to NOT discuss or sweat the small stuff. Things he would do that I used to get annoyed at I do not confront him with anymore.

I have nearly conquered the "questioning " I used to do. "Are you okay? Are you upset? what are you thinking about? Why are you quiet?"

I don't do that no more. When he is quiet.. I leave him be and I notice that he will come around on his own. I stopped trying to get into his head.

For the first time the other day he put his arms around me and said he was happy. I honestly didn't know how to react to this .. and that's the first time I've heard him say that in months.

I hope things are moving forward in a good way but I'm still wary, still cautious... as I can still see he is working through so much inside of him.