alcoholic H decided he wants D

[imthemom]

Hi VC...

Yes, I have been hopefull since I have not been served..seems like he would have done that by now. I mentioned in an earlier post that I would have to see him soon because I had sold my bike to an out of state buyer and would be meeting the shipping co. at the house to pick it up..well that finally happened yesterday...because of the long hrs he is now working H agreed to leave a key for me and I did not have to actually see him, but did find the packet of divorce papers on the counter under a pile of mail. not exactley out in the open but enough to know that I would find them.
He is useing a paralegal company that files for you. They were not filled out and according to the date has had them since the 5th of this month. The fact that they were blank gave me more hope.
unfortunatley I also found a half gone 12pk of beer in the fridg....I was shocked since he has stated that he has 20 months clean and sober. It was not his usual "brand" so wasnt sure what to make of it. I left a very "nonconfrontational" note saying that I was not judgeing him but hoped that he knew that the boys and I loved him and wanted to be supportive if he would let me.
He responded late last night through text that "it was not my beer in the fridg dork, jason helped me last weekend and left it"..jason being our neighbor...I find it odd that a recovering alcoholic can have beer in there fridg and be strong enough to not drink any....but then again Ive been thinking this morning that maybe he has changed and is finally the man Ive always wanted him to be, with a back bone and strong enough to stick to what he has committed to...and Im not going to be included in that life to see it...that hurts. It also scares me, since he has decided he wants a divorce he has not waivered one time..he just keeps saying this is hard for him to and he just wants it to be fair and be able to move on. that also hurts...the whole "walking away and never looking back" is hard to take...seems very unfair after sticking around for years waiting for this change to happen, and then realizing its happening with out me.......