I am wary of all rules that are not beneficial to us as healthy functioning human beings.
I do think many people get involved with someone else before they have healed, and healing takes time. Also many people do not want to live alone. Learning to do this is really important unless we are to move from relationship to relationship.
As to sex - a very wise friend of mine said that she thinks becoming intimate very early in a relationship often prolongs one that was going to die. And the more I thought about it the more right I think she is.
So while I wouldn't put lengths of time, or impose rules about when you sleep with someone, I have come to see that rushing into a relationship telling yourself that life is short, is often not a very sensible thing to do. The rituals and rules that surrounded the mating process are not simply rituals of an out of date and male dominated society [although some of them are!] Some are sensible guidelines that we might take pause to reflect on.
We have all been dealt a hard blow here, and I certainly don't think beating anyone up further is kind or necessarily helpful, whether they choose to stand longer than some regard as sensible or whether they appear to rush somewhat precipitately into another relationship. This is our journey and while our long term goal is happiness and joy, I think this is through a life well lived, and that may involve a bit of suffering along the way while we grow up. It is not simply about the avoidance of all pain.
