An Apology from my MLC ex-wife

[AntoniaB]

MHL and J3B...here's another reason I posted that comment, and I wonder if you have thoughts about this...

I find it fairly easy at this point to be the "best person I can be" and keep my "180s" intact and I feel like it is because my XH is not in my life.

I am convinced that my XH brought out the worst in me. Maybe I brought out the worst in him.

He and I were SO codependent for SO long...

I am not a damsel in distress by any stretch...but he likes being the knight in shining armor.

I feel like if he were around, because that is who he always was..that I'd easily revert to old ways.

Or...I'm no longer a spiteful or manipulative person. But if he were around, I could see me regressing in a second.

So when the MLCer asks about if the changes are "real", this is what I wonder...are those changes only real with other people, or are the changes null and void when the MLCer who is part of the past life of the LBSer brings them back out?

I will say that even though my XH is not in any contact with me, that if things were to change, my greatest fear now isn't that he'd cheat on me again if I took him back.

It's that I'd lose who I became by taking him back.

Make sense?