I don't know why, but after I gave it half a day, I don't feel so down anymore. Maybe it just helped to throw out my feelings onto the screen, then walk away and think about something else for a change. Who knows.
What I feel very strongly is this: I should stop putting all of my self-worth into what my W thinks of me. Gritter has been knocking me over the head with this one, and it's only now starting to sink in. It's extremely likely that her "crisis" (good way to put it) has way more to do with her than it does with me. Thing is, I can't help her with that. It's all her. Me, I'm on my own path now. Gotta think about my needs and wants for once.
As for sex, well, that will come in time. I'm in no place to even think about dating, let alone physical contact. I'm sure that whoever I move onto next (whether my W or someone else) will be very patient and understanding with me.
My big goal now is detachment. I still feel obsessed and consumed with my sitch throughout the day. I'd like to step away from all of that and really start enjoying my life. I'm getting sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Watched "Stranger Than Fiction" today. I seem to keep running into movies with big existentialist themes.
