Yep.........I'm still here

[paige40]

I am sorry you are having a bad day today but tomorrow is going to be a good day, because you are going to make it a good day!! There is always a few good days after a few bad ones right?!?! You have done so much work DG and are such a different person than you were 7 months ago.

I have learned the same lesson, never take anyone I love for granted anymore. I think I thought my H would always be there no matter what I did or said. I think it was a lesson I needed to learn.

[Valeska19]

(((DG)))

I'm so sorry you have been hit with this and to be told over text.. well it's probably better I keep my thoughts to myself about that.

I completely agree with KD. Take tomorrow and spoil yourself. I went to McDonald's and had a big kids meal. It was glorious... seriously.

The D is scary and emotional. Keep your eyes on your journey and be proud of all you have accomplished thus far. Push yourself to look at those positives because they really do help take the sting off of the negatives.

I'm here for ya girl. You'll get through this!

[~¤DG¤~]

I had this great long post all typed out but then I lost it. Grrrrrr

I'm doing ok today. I really am. I'm determined to make it through the day with a smile on my face.

I've stopped discussing my sitch with my friends. I'm so tired of the "Your much better off without him" speech. Yes they love me and they mean well, but I don't want to hear it, even if they are right.
I can't seem to get people to understand that.

[paige40]

I hope you have a great day today!

I have stopped talking about it with my friends too they all say the same thing. That is what we are here for talk to us

Keep your chin up, I am thinking of you

[jbnati]

I've stopped discussing my sitch with my friends. I'm so tired of the "Your much better off without him" speech. Yes they love me and they mean well, but I don't want to hear it, even if they are right.
I can't seem to get people to understand that.

I know exactly what you mean, DG. In my case, the majority of my friends are very supportive of what I'm doing. However, I hear this and/or get it implied from by my own Mom. (Ugh!)

I hope you have a fantastic day today!

[Telemark]

Same here. A few months ago I would welcome the chance to "get it off my chest". Today it seems like a scar that is there but does not warrant an explanation.

[OmegaZed]

DG,

So sorry you have hit this part of the road, but like all roads there is an end. Sometimes a fork. The choice is whether or not to keep going down it.

A few comments ago you mentioned how DB and DR probably don't work, and I just wanted to share with you how I viewed the books and tools present. There is no guarantee that the M can be saved. If there is anything guaranteed, it is that this is a learning experience, should we choose to learn from it.

I believe the point of DB and DR is to seriously take a look inside yourself, value who you are as a person and if you aren't happy with yourself, take steps to become happy.

Marriages and all relationships take two. You've done a heck of a fantastic job in becoming a much more stronger and capable woman and it is of my opinion your husband is missing out. [censored] to be him I say.

It is these experience that show us what we are truly capable of. You've gotten in great shape from the stories you've mentioned, you've began moving on in your M, with or without your husband and you've done this all on your own (and of course with the assistance of the tools provided through your own counseling, DB and DR.)

Relationships come and go, and believe me and a vast majority of people on this board we all want to see M's make it through these tough times. Sometimes marriages run their course, and sometimes they need to crash and burn before they evolve into what they were meant to be. There is no guarantee in how it will happen because the unknown factor is always the other person in the R.

What is guaranteed is that we become stronger, more capable, more individual and that's the key. Sometimes in M and most R we lose sight of who we are as people because we become so involved in our S that we forget we have to focus on ourselves too.

We all hope and pray things change in your sitch, but the true strength is knowing that it gets better and greatness can still come, with or without your H.

We're here for you always DG, and you have my prayers and hugs.

[~¤DG¤~]

Thank you for the responses and thank you especially to you, Omega, your words were very helpful.

Yesterday was a good day for me. I met up with some girlfriends for dinner and we sat for over 3 hours talking and laughing. The subject of my H or my M didn't come up at all, which is good. I think about it too much as it is.

Sadly, when I got home I discovered that one of S10's pet rats had died.
I love rodents and rats are very sweet, but I am terrified of dead animals.
I called my exhusband and asked if he would come over and take the rat out of the cage for me because I was too scared to touch it, and he did. He brought our S with him, and he was upset but not too upset, he knew the rat didn't look well.
I was grateful he did that for me.

Slept pretty good. Today is pretty dreary out so it makes staying alert kind of hard, but I'm doing alright.

I plan on packing up some more things in the kids' room to make way for the new carpet being installed next week. . It gives me something to look forward to.

[~¤DG¤~]

Just rambling----

I am really looking forward to the weekend.

I say every time that I am going to sleep in but never do. This weekend, I am going to come h*ll or high water.

New carpet is being installed on Monday, and I'm so excited I am almost giddy. A true sign that I am a grown up.

Tonight S10 is being promoted to his blue stripe in kuyki-do and he is very proud of himself. I am proud of him also.

I went to bed at 8:30 last night and slept very well. I think I'm coming down with a cold again...blah.

[~¤DG¤~]

I am so glad it is the weekend.
It's been a long but productive week.

I had dinner with my Mom after work tonight, just her & I, and it was a nice time. Afterwards we did a little bit of shopping and she spoiled my boys. . I am grateful for her.

On my drive home, I suddenly felt this intense feeling of sadness wash over me. Sometimes it's very hard to realize I am no longer with my H. It was 8 months yesterday.

My sister sent me this today via text and it made me feel really good:

" I wanted to say i am so proud of you. You are so strong with all that you have been through not just with H, I admire the way you always seem to keep your head above water and take steps to improve for yourself. I love you!"

I am going to save this to remind myself of how far I've come.