My prob with it is that I'm still constantly trying to read H's actions as signs of progress. Seems at odds with detaching and getting on with my own life. But then, DR says one must attend closely to the effects of one's changes to gauge whether they're working.
But, like l2l, I only have his actions to go by. There has been no D talk from him, he still hasn't told the kids anything (although he keeps saying he should, but doesn't want to have the conversation), he is not planning any more permanent living arrangement than sleeping in a spare room at a mate's house. Just needs to be alone and says he feels confused.
So, l2l, I feel for what you are going through, and it really helps to read about your attempts to deal with it.
And WHG, you are so right. I know H can smell my desperation to have this work, and I know that's a big problem. Just got to work out how not to be desperate..... I keep returning to my new mantra: acceptance, not control.
