Or look at the other side... she trusts you and thinks you're a responsible father. But in "all other areas of life" you're not... what? How does that even make any sense? So your life is a mess over here but she trusts you to be a dad...? Is that even possible? That's like saying the living room is ok but the rest of the house is on fire, so let's just hang out in the living room.
Doesn't make any sense to me either.
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She's crafting her own reality. You don't have to agree to it. But it is her reality and she's free to have it. You can either do things that prove her wrong over the long-term so that she has to either reconcile her beliefs with what is actually happening, or just surrender the fight and let it go.
I agree; she's crafted what she needs to believe in order think she's making the right decision. At the moment, I have no desire to prove her wrong. I do, however, have a sincere desire to prove myself right. Her beliefs no longer factor, she saw to that today.
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My W's "reality" is that I've manipulated her and "bought" her for the past five years to keep her in our R and not allow her to see that "there is more out there and she could be out finding the love of her life." WTH? Really? Yes dear, that's exactly what I've been doing. I bring you home a beautiful ring from a work trip I take to Philly because I'm hoping I can buy a piece of your love.
This is exactly what mine has said except that I was on the reverse end and getting a free ride. She said again today that I was living the high life, doing whatever I wanted, no responsibility. In reality, I was depressed and struggling with becoming a stay at home dad and giving up my personal dreams. My lack of clarity of vision during that time cost me 5 years of marital happiness, it cost my W all 15 years of it. If she has any heart at all, she may look back one day and wonder what life must have been like for me during that time. It's unlikely, and while I think it would be freeing for her, I don't particularly think it would be freeing for me.
By the way, I asked about compassion and all that pretty much exactly as was suggested, and her response was that she had none for me. Tells me all I need to know...
