Just don't understand...

[workinghardguy]

Hey TJB... doesn't the Facebook thing suck? It's just a few words on a screen, but it sends a punch in the gut. My W did that a few weeks ago, about the same time she stopped wearing her wedding rings, and it really, really hurt. I've gotten used to it but it still hurt. And we haven't had an actual D talk yet... just discussions about probably separating some time in June.

I think you're right to fight again 3 in 14 days, though I guess that would depend on the geography. While we want to give them space I think you have to stand up for yourself and your kids. There is no reason for 3 in 14. As long as you're willing to get them to school, get their homework taken care of, get them where they need to be and take care of them then 7 and 7 is absolutely reasonable.

My W and I have only danced this issue briefly in an R talk. But where we ended up was 50/50 and then during the overnights our S would have dinner with the other parent every so often, or come home after school until dinner time and then go for the overnight. This way neither one of us has to go a week at a time without seeing our S.

The one caveat I would offer though, and this is coming off of my DB coaching session a few hours ago, when you talk to your wife about it try to find compassion if you can. I know it sounds really hard and I would think it is... but perhaps approach it from, "If having the kids more time concerns you, why is that?" or "I've sensed that me having the kids more time is a concern for you, can you tell me why?" And then just listen... don't try to solve it right there. Just listen and maybe verify that you're understanding her point of view correctly.

What happens after that... well, I've got nothing right now, sorry but if I meditate on it and an idea springs forth I'll come back!