I think that in the beginning and for a long time we the LBSer are faking the changes because we are making them for our weyward spouses.......it is not until you make the changes for YOU that they become real.
MHL, I hope everyone reads your statement above 10 million times. It is SO true and something that I try to drive home to many, but so few actually grasp it. Especially in the beginning, everyone is so concerned about saving their marriage that they (despite recommendations by the not-so-newbies) forget about themselves and concentrate on doing things FOR their spouse. There are a lot of "rationalizations" on these boards that these are genuine changes for themselves. But you hit the nail on the head. If they aren't for YOU, they won't stick and won't be genuine. Thanks for sharing that insight.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
