One of the things I came to understand about myself is that I would take a path towards expressing anger because I was looking for some kind of movement. It didn't matter which way, I wanted out of "Limbo". I thought that if he finally filed, it would all be over.
I no longer live in limbo and it took awhile(a long while)for me to change my perspective. one thing that really helped me, was not to see him anymore than absolutely necessary. The less I saw him, the less I obsessed. I stopped feeling like I was constantly being run over by a Mack truck.
If you choose to leave the door open for reconcilliation, you can do that. Just don't stand there waiting.
I am the one (or one of) that used a rubberband to change my thoughts. I laugh now at the welts it created. It took time. I took up meditation. I exercise much more. I take classes. All of these things felt overwhelming at times. Just have to push through it.
It all starts with being able to not think about him a few minutes at a time.
Are you a goal setter? As in writing them down and then breaking them into smaller steps etc? It's not so much my thing, but I tried it and found a version that works for me.
