MHL, what gave me the "chill" you describe is her saying the part about not wanting YOU to revert to old habits...because that, coupled with her not talking about herself anymore, again made it seem like she was externalizing the problems of the marriage on to you.
You can analyze, overthink, justify your part and even dismiss this fear; and no matter what you do, if you don't understand that this fear is valid on their part, in fact if you don't have this fear about yourself, even just a little?
Then your not really reconcilling anything. That old behaviour was a driving force in their choice to leave, to cheat to, divorce, to cut you out of their life.
To me there are three things the MLC must overcome if they are going to be the LBS's life...a healthy LBSer. : )
1 - the MLC itself. 2 - Pride over judgement and condemnation from others. 3 - their fear that the LBS has not actually changed and this is all a trick.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
