Saving the M and caring for a baby

[KenF]

i agree with what DueinMay is doing, its not a perfect solution, so i'm just trying to point out some potential pitfalls. and trying to remind her she also needs to try to view things from both perspectives. i think it'll be easy for her to get caught up in the excitement of moving in with her sister.

i'm also trying to offer a guy's perspective.

as far as him not saying ILY, i completely understand how/why he doesnt. and i dont think he should. it would seem desperate, as if he's saying it only because she says he has to.

not because he does, or that he's ready to, or that he believes it himself, but because she told him he has to. that makes it meaningless.

from his perspective, his wife is moving out, her words and actions dont completely jive. to expect him to believe what she's telling him, while theres a moving truck outside, is asking a lot of any person.

if it were me, i wouldnt believe it.

from what she's been writing here, he's being doing much of what she's asked. he's been saying ILY through actions, work, growing. he's doing the hard stuff. actions speak louder than words and all that.

and yes, i understand the action of saying ILY is what DueinMay is missing.

and yes, its nice to hear it, it justifies our existence. it validates us. it hurts to not hear it for years - oh wait thats me, back to DueinMay.

i think its necessary that DueinMay question why the actions arent enough. and is the words an arbitrary sticking point that she's using to justify her decision to move in with her sister. if he had said ILY, would there just be something else that sticks?

which is fine, its her right, theres nothing wrong with it, there has to be a line drawn somewhere, as long as she's brutally honest with herself about it.


but what if his saying ILY is predicated by her moving home?

while her moving home is predicated on his saying ILY?

are they The Zax?