@ OZ. That is definitely a different way of looking at it. I don't doubt that she thinks of me.. I only doubt her ability to take any actions towards me. I just have to continually remind myself that the 2nd part is in God's hands now. I can only control me and most days that is handful.. lol.
@ Shock. Thank you. Most days it does feel over though. We've been apart for a very long time w/ almost no contact. It some ways.. I feel like I have adjusted so much to my new life.. the past has gotten fuzzy. There is so much joy, happiness, and positive growth in my life. When I think about an r with w, I keep thinking "but I don't want to go back.. I don't want to give those things up again!"
I did spend most of the morning crying. I just felt like an a$$hole. I question my actions and on if it was truly portraying the Val I want to be. My friends were proud of me.. They aren't necessarily fond of the way w treats me.. so their opinion was biased.. as if I did it to get back at her.
But I know myself and as hard as it was.. I was portraying the Val I want to be.. or at least I think so. I do think it was loving from a distance.
Sorry I'm having a really hard time getting my thoughts to formulate into complete sentences at the moment.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
