When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[BeingMe]

Yeah, BA I think you just hit the nail on the head. In my subconcious I feel like I'm second choice.

Remember though, that you were his first choice to begin with. OW was his second choice and made during his time of crisis. No wonder she ditched him eventually.

I think couples should be able to share their aches and pains with each other, and get support. My H tends to also be somewhat unsupportive when I'm ill ... even cancer didn't bring out his empathy much. I think, though, that he thinks he is empathetic. But, compared to my children, who were my rock during my cancer, he was more like a little ol' pebble. Rolling his eyes when you're in pain is NOT supportive, and in fact, is quite the opposite ... making light of someone's pain, or getting irritated is very uncaring (I am using polite words here, by the way). I find that I am not as caring as I used to be, when my H is in pain, or is feeling ill (I still am extremely empathetic with my children and grandchildren). I say to H, "aw, that's a shame ... you should see a doctor." I still care, but I don't fuss. I'm not his mother, as he is not my father which he made abundantly clear.

Thankfully, as far as I know, my H never had a physical affair with OW, and he never left home, just our bedroom. So, I don't think much about OW anymore. I did at the time though. She is a weird person ... aren't they all, 'eh!