tonight I met a woman who says her sister hasn't had sex for 3 years with her h. They sleep in separate rooms and it began, supposedly, b/c he snores and tjat drove her crazy. She went to the guest room first, to "get some sleep".
Sounds very typical for a couple where there is already latent anger on both sides, and then the snoring thing just becomes an indirect method to express the anger. If two newlyweds who were madly in love had a problem with one of them snoring, they'd find creative and loving ways to accomodate it. In fact, the snoring problem might even be regarded as "cute" or "endearing".
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...Any explanation for that^^^, at all? That's pretty crucial to discuss....And do you talk about this in the heat of the moment while you feel rejected or have you had heart to heart "no pressure BUT we have to discuss this" ways?
I've brought it up both in the heat of the moment and in quiet moments. Basically, she does not want to discuss it, ever. Never got an explanation, ever. Nada, zilch, zero.
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so what IS sexy? To her? Please, God, tell us...
I have asked her, and she'll respond with something like, watching a movie together. And so we do, and she likes the movie, and enjoys the time, and says she enjoyed it. But it never results in sex. If I ask, she says she's too tired. It's like, what's the point in asking. If I press it further and say this is ridiculous, she doesn't want to talk about it.
I'm not kidding. Everything else is fine. It's just this little area of discussion that if I try to talk about it rationally, this very rational successful person just goes into some kind of depressive funk and stonewalls until the moment passes and we can get on with other things. She'd rather I just grab the Playboy and head for the bathroom.
