"I don't tell him ANYTHING about any ailment I might have anymore."
Wow. What a way to keep him from being able to be a good guy.
FWIW, I don't think you're worried about measuring up in his mind. To me, this sounds like it is all about you, your feelings about yourself, not about them. It is about your OWN feelings of inadequacy, about things YOU want to change about YOU for YOU. So, get on it.
