Well, with the help of the DB/DR books, this website/forum and the people kind enough to post and comment, and the advice of my father-in-law, I think I've come d@mn close to saving my marriage. I'm not dumb enough to think I can now rest on my laurels, but things are going well, my wife tells me she loves me and that if things continue the way they have been recently than we can make this marriage work.
Just wanted to post to let people know that there is hope. Not every marriage can be salvaged, but for the ones in which it isn't too late, DB'ing works. My best advice is to back off, focus on you and being the best person you can be, and let your spouse know that as much as you disagree with their decision to leave, you will be ok if they decide to go. Someone who has told you they're done and want out of the marriage doesn't want you to beg them to stay or trying to control what they do. In fact, one of the few things that might make them reconsider their decision is seeing you be strong enough to survive and thrive without them. Back off. Let them do what they're going to do. If you're at the point where you're here on this forum, then you're also at the point where the only thing that's probably going to save your marriage is taking the focus off your spouse, off of your marriage, and working on you.
Be a person that only a fool would leave.
Be healthy, be strong, be confident, be pleasant, be calm.
Fake it 'til you make it if you have to.
H: 41 W: 35 M: 9 years T: 10 years S: 9 D: 7 ILYBINILWY & "I want a divorce": 6/22/2011 Piecing: 10/2011 Still going strong as of 4/2013
