Advina, a lot of things hit me last night.. about my role in this mess. I think h is in mlc, but I also think there are things I did that helped feed the fire.
When we came up here I fell into a depression because I was so unhappy here, and many many times I mistreated my h and took my anger out on him. And he just took it.. time and again. I know that I have not been a joy to live with at times. He has brought up these instances, since bd.
I have changes I need to make for me and for him.
I don't know if I have a total grasp on detachment, because I'm still on the roller coaster, feeling all of these feelings and going a long for the ride. I've tried so hard to get off of it. But one thing I can do is remain calm... and try to act as if. Sometimes I fail but when I can do it, I see more positive reactions.
I don't know if my health issues make him feel trapped.. he has always told me, "Your MS has nothing to do with me leaving". He has found a way to separate it in his mind somehow.
But I have some news so I'll move on to my more journal like post. Thanks so much for the insights Advina!
