IB I know this is really awful for you. The pattern is what I call 'push me pull me' They draw a little closer, and get a little involved in their old lives, and then are spooked by the feelings it unlocks, or threatens to. I don't think any of this is conscious btw.
So they pull a little closer, scare themselves, and pull away, making up the silliest excuses to you themselves, or others, or lists of excuses in your xh's case.
You will not get fairness, consideration, rationality or kindness in response to normal behaviour. If you did then he wouldn't be in MLC.
My xh is gradually entering reality [I think] It is so slow that you can hardly see it, and yet compared to last year he is further forward, And yet, we exchanged a few emails about three weeks ago, and then nothing from him until he sent me an obituary notice of an older friend of ours . . . No note, nothing. Now if you take the trouble to send someone that my xh knows I thought highly of, and couldn't have known had died, you might 'expect' the shortest of notes? But I acknowledged the gesture with a brief note of thanks.
I decided long ago that I was going to continue to be normal around his crazy behaviour and not react to it. I can't say if it has any effect on him, but it makes me feel better about myself.
Personally i would ignore all of this for a while. he will likely forget, and if he doesn't, deal with it then. With MLCers I have found it is usually better to procrastinate, and they often change their mood and mindset several times a day.
i also think they spin even faster coming out of the crisis.
