I have read the DB book, taken the coaching, and spoken to many great people here on this blog. I just don't understand how any WAW could actually walk away, turn 180 degrees on her husband and kids, alienate everyone, have a complete personality change, potentially lose her family and home forever, cheat on her husband, and then through the magic of the LRT's and DB'ing, work things out for herself and then come back to the family. Intellectually I get the concept, but while I go thru the DB'ing and follow its advice, I have such a hard time believing it can actually work. Has anyone here actually seen this work? I want to believe so bad but it seems so counterintuitive! Please, if anyone knows of anyone where this has worked pls let me know!!! Thanks so much!!!
trying to find your thread but I see you have posted on about 5 different ones so I have to go find which one is yours...
hence the request to post on ONE thread til we know you and your story.
Also if you could write in smaller paragraphs it's easier to read/follow and comment upon.
If you don't "get this" it probably won't work. So...you need to get it.
I'll post when I know more of your sitch b/c I assume the facts are somewhere around here.
like what she SAID to you about the M's problems, and WHY SHE Left, etc. Specifically...
Not what you think or surmise. What she said.
And when you ask things like "how can she do this" or "Why did she" - those are questions designed to generate a defensive response in the person hearing it.
It will trigger a fight with her if you begin a conversation with questions like that b/c they are heard as accusatory and attacking. And they usually are. Not saying you don't have a right to be hurt and angry. YOU DO.
But that anger does not help you. Anger is not your friend.
If you really really read the Div Remedy book and the predecessor, and have some good DB coaches...you know that's true.
It may feel easier to be angry, at first, rather than crushed. But lashing out simply worsens things. Always.
And it fuels her negative reasons/justifications for leaving.
So...I'll go hunting for your main thread now...(which ever one you began and posted the most info on, maybe make that one your thread?)
good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
