Your lengthy and powerful response to my plight is greatly appreciated, Gritter. There is much in what you have written. I will likely spend a lot of really unpacking your advice and applying it to my own life.
I have decided that I want to stand for my M. (For now.) I did not take my vows lightly. I did not put six years of my blood, sweat, and tears into this M only to see it fall apart like this. I'm not giving up.
But that doesn't mean that I'm accepting the status quo, either. I don't accept the way that she is right now. I don't accept how she makes me feel. Either she comes back to me and makes it right or she leaves me for good, leaving a clean laceration so I can heal. I will not be a friend to her actions now. If I do that, I will be disappointing both her and myself.
I am planning on reading your thread. I have no doubt that I will see growth there that will inspire me.
As for the events tonight, I was right. My W did contact me. She sent me a text: "Just wanted to say hi and let you know that I thought about you today. Hope everything is going well. Give the rabbit some kisses from me."
I didn't send anything in response. Why? I don't know. Just didn't feel like it, I guess. (The desire to be unexpected and mysterious? Just plain old didn't feel like engaging her? Could be a number of things. I am weary today. Must sleep rather than think of her.)
Was depressed and anguished for much of the day, as expected. Got a great six-month review from my boss, so felt great about that. Also watched "Police Academy" for the first time, so I had a big chuckle for a few hours. For the next few days, I'm going to get free breakfast at work. Good food is always good stuff!
