25yearsmlc, I can see you're doing the "putting yourself in her shoes" kind of thing, and coming up with the assumption that she never heard anybody speak of sex and that she's generally ignorant. She's a Merit Scholar Finalist, got into the top colleges, and read "The Joy of Sex" way back when. It's not a question of ignorance. It's an emotional issue, perhaps a combination of inadequacy or shame, etc. There are plenty of people who are doing "stupid" things like bingeing and purging, or overeating, even though they got Ph.D's from Ivy League schools. This is not a matter of intelligence or coming from a backward culture.
Yes, she knows she's not typical, and that's apparently what she has trouble dealing with because she has so greatly excelled in other areas. Perhaps she can't accept that she can't seem to "measure up" in this area, not even to an "average" level. I don't know.
So you say you would not have married your H if he told you he had never had an O when you first met him? Do you think that same standard should apply to both genders? Should men refuse to get involved with or marry women who can't have an O? Not sure everybody would agree with you on that one. I went on the advice of many books, which pointed out that many women peak sexually later in life when they become more comfortable with their bodies, etc. And what if a woman is faking it?
I have to emphasize that we had a lot of attraction chemistry early on. She was definitely turned on, though she never had an O. Lubrication was great. It did not start off as an SSM. But in retrospect, it was all kind of "flash in the pan" novelty for her. Which seems understandable to me if you never have an O.
OK, as a man, I would certainly agree with you when you say you would never marry a man you had not experienced an O with you. Certainly, I would NEVER marry a woman I NEVER had an O with!!!! Not any question about that whatsoever!! But should my wife have applied the same test to me? If so, she might never have gotten married. Would you really recommend that to a woman who had never had an O?
